Originally published at supple.co.uk. You can comment here or there.

I’m currently at the ancient age of 30.

I’ve had a few observations about some people of a similar age. I wonder if it’s some unwritten rule of rite of passage?

If you’re a male with long hair, you will feel the need to cut it short (understandable if you’re receding though)
There’s a high chance you will be married and have kids.
You will put a photo of your kids as your personal profile picture on your Facebook/Twitter/MySpace/etc. page. rather than yourself, as you feel people who are searching for you must be mistaken and are actually searching for your kids instead.
You will develop an uncanny fetish for scat, where you can discuss the colours, consistency and odour of your kids’ faeces with other parents for hours at end.
If not with another parent, you will still discuss your fetish for scat anyway, in the aim to covert other people into your fascination with turd.
You will find getting a new co-ordinating coffee-table for your lounge brings you greater satisfaction than a good shag
On the subject of sex; Rather than just getting on and doing it, you will instead talk and joke loudly about it with lots of smut and cackling/sniggering with other people, as if it is taboo.
You will have no comprehension that people who do not join in with your joking obviously know you make such a big song and dance about it because you’re not actually getting any.
You will willingly choose to shop in a 24 hour supermarket at the busiest, most chaotic time on a Saturday afternoon.
Your cool clothes will be replaced with the drab range from the “I secretly wish I was 40″ range.
If not, they wil be upgraded to “I think I’m still 19″ range.
If a parent, they will be replaced altogether with the “as long as my child is co-ordinated, then it’s ok if I just wear a track-suit as it’s easier” range.
You will name pets with cute or sensible names, rather than funny names.
You will put on a few stone but deny it’s anything to do with eating too much and exercising too little, but put it down to age.
You will get drunk on a few pints, but claim you could drink 27 pints in your early 20’s and still want more.

Any cool people out there still? Or should I just grow up?